An Affair with the Air Conditioner
by Yesterday's Tonic
Summary: Satsuke has her suspicions about Cale's faithfulness. The mistress might not be who you'd expect. One shot. Humor/romance


AN: Just a humorous one shot that I got the idea from my cat, a little black macho thing whose uncannily like Cale himself, when I held him up to the air conditioner and it was met with much purring, kneeding and nuzzling. I'm not sure if the air conditioner reciprocates his feelings of great affection but I think that in Cale's mind, running it's butt off to keep his pecks cool is not only a sign of obedience but of love.

Enjoy, I had fun writing it.

**An Affair With the Air Conditioner**

Satsuke had her suspicions that Cale was having an affair with the air conditioner. When he came over, the first thing he did was stalk over to it to readjust the temperature controls, turning it down to the lowest setting possible. If she wasn't in the immediate vicinity and walked in while he was in the midst of the task, he leapt back with an air of practiced innocence. It was as if he hadn't been nuzzling it with a pleased expression as he basked in the icy air that washed over him.

More peculiar, though, was the way he toted the remote to it around in his back pocket like a tenderly cherished love letter. She noted that the air conditioner got a loving pat before she got a hello kiss. Jealousy was misplaced perhaps, concerning a machine that Cale's skills in the bedroom would have been entirely wasted upon. Nonetheless, jealous she was and she set about to sabotage their trysts.

First the remote suffered a mysterious ailment which caused it to cease function, before vanishing altogether. "The battery isn't made anymore," she said offhandedly, as Cale searched for it high and low. "Why are you so worried about it?"

"It was sleek and…. Cute," he replied a trifle sulky, conceding that his favorite play toy had been lost and settling into an armchair with an air of palpable grouse.

Satsuke felt her irritation justified. He hadn't looked that disappointed and annoyed since she had told him she wouldn't marry him without her brother's consent. It had only been an effort to be true to their customs, but apparently he had been so put off by the thought of having to schmooze his way into Sage's good graces that he had turned to the window air unit for comfort. Her efforts to end this redoubled.

The next day, Cale returned to pay her a visit after work (she wondered if his home didn't have an AC so he came to give special attention to hers) to find that it was off and every window in the apartment was flung wide, allowing the balmy summer heat to permeate the rooms. He gaped in disbelief at the temperature on the thermostat and might have gone to close the window, except that his valiant efforts to revive the air conditioner were halted when he found his would-be fiancé dancing for exercise in… it would have been more worthwhile to note the clothing she _did_ have on, rather than what she was lacking.

Satsuke grinned at her plan's success when, cool air forgotten, he was soon plastered against her to show her his own moves. For a beautiful five minutes, she had his attention all to herself, even if he was a little sweaty and sticky. The moment died when he asked if they could close up the house and turn on the air conditioning, since it was too warm for him to be up to full potential.

Record heat defeated her the next day and she had the windows closed and the air conditioning running when he came again. His wolfish grin of satisfaction was second only to the one he'd born when he caught her in the bikini, dancing to techno. In loyalty, Satsuke guessed the machine in the window ranked higher, however. Finally at the end of her rope, she put her hands on her hips to demand, "What is it with you and the air conditioner?"

Cale blinked slowly, caught red handed adjusting the temperature. "I like it cold," he said guiltily. "Sorry, am I freezing you?"

The look of a puppy, reproaching her for her irritation (and his beautiful blue eyes) made Satsuke melt. "Yeah, actually. And you might kill it from overworking. They're not designed to put polar ice on the furniture."

"Oh. Whoops." Reluctantly, he turned the temperature back up. "Sorry babe. I function better in the cold."

She tugged him over, "Yes but then you have to warm me up." She smiled, "I'll crawl inside your shirt if I have to."

Cale grinned, showing pointy teeth. "I think I'm going to turn it back down again."

"Cale!"

"Sorry!"


End file.
